An Advanced Explanation Of God-Realization

https://youtu.be/PgmJj0Gn1WM

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[Music] i've reached a new level of consciousness a very advanced level of consciousness a very radical level of consciousness that i want to tell you about and as i will be talking about it we're going to build up to it it's going to take a little while to build up to it here so hold your horses i also want to in the process draw some distinctions that i'm making between awakening and god realization and non-duality so basically my point is that these are not the same thing and so i will be distinguishing these for you and helping you to make sense of of why that is a lot of the things that i'll be saying here uh are going to be right at the edge of my ability to communicate like this is good this is going to be one of my most advanced communications that i've ever done up to this point and it's going to be difficult to communicate what i want to communicate but i'll try my best it's good practice for me and i think you'll get a lot out of it if you keep an open mind i will be saying some things here which contradict almost everything you hear from spiritual teachers in other places so just be aware of that be aware of your closed mindedness in terms of that all right so let's get started so uh i i know i i'm sure you're you're you're tired of it already but you know i keep coming back and telling you that i've reached uh new levels of of consciousness or awakening beyond everything prior and well i i have um i'm just reporting to you what it's like right i'm not making this [ __ ] up um so i'm just going to report it how it happened and then whether you believe it or not that's up to you um you see the problem is that like some of you guys expect awakening just to be this simple thing where it's like you get it and then you're done no there's nothing simple about this and then you you tell yourself but if it's not this simple then it's ego no it's not ego it's just not simple there are absolutely no limits to consciousness consciousness can keep growing and understanding itself at ever deeper layers and levels and there is no contradiction between saying that you had a total awakening before and now you have another one that's even more total see consciousness does not subscribe or fit into your simple little human definitions and logic it might seem logical to you like well leo if your previous one was total then this one can't be total like this one's also total but you're saying it's more total that means you're full of [ __ ] you were lying about the previous one and the one half before that no it's just that your little mind can't contain what is being communicated here it's a paradox it's a very paradoxical thing they always feel total but then there's higher degrees of totality that's the that's the very paradoxical thing about infinity it's not a bug it's a feature it's not a mistake and this is what you will encounter if you really seriously do this work rather than just sitting back and criticizing from from sort of an armchair position you got to actually get your feet in the water get wet go to the deep end of the pool and then you'll discover how deep it gets it's not like in your little kiddie pool so where do i even begin um i guess let's begin here let's make a distinction between the sort of classical awakenings and enlightenments that most spiritual traditions talk about and what i will be talking about is god realization so i want you to imagine and i'm still working out this model it's a little model i i developed uh here uh just i mean it's just it's a you gotta understand these are just very loose approximations this is not literally how it is but look imagine we have an axis that goes up and down like the y-axis on a math chart and so this axis represents sort of like what your consciousness is up to consciousness can take an infinite number of different states you're in a certain state of consciousness now and what you do through meditation practice and traditional teachings and practices such as zen or buddhism or maybe a divida or neo advaita perhaps yoga is that you're you're basically shutting what's the technique the technique is you're shutting down your mind they call it the monkey mind this is actually a very problematic framing but they frame it as the monkey mind anything basically is framed as the monkey mind and sort of the objective is to get to a state of no mind and so the mind is quieted down quieted down quieted down through just emptying the mind or through concentration on a single object or something and so it just kind of watching your breath whatever and you're quieting down your mind and then your objective is to reach a sort of a peaceful um empty like no mind state and then from there you can have either spontaneous insights or recognition of your true nature you could have a satori an awakening enlightenment whatever you want to call it and basically this is how you get to that sort of classical buddhist recognition of the truth of no self because the ego in a certain sense is the mind at work thinking thoughts and so if you can shut off all of that you can get to sort of a sort of emptiness and then you can realize no self you can realize that oh the self was itself you know just a function and a rising of the mind and then and then maybe you can even go deeper than that and you can realize nothingness which is also maybe everythingness as well and you know emptiness the buddha's talking about emptiness and shunyata and shiva and these sorts of things and you can even have like what they call a cessation which might even be an emptiness that is so deep that even the visual field collapses the entire sensory field collapses into just like a pure void now what newbies misunderstand about this is that they think that when i'm talking about nothingness or when when buddhists are talking about nothingness what they mean is that everything has to disappear it's like literally a void or we could call it a cessation thing of course that is nothingness if you can achieve that state um but nothing else is not exclusive to that state nothingness is always the case this right here right now my words are nothingness just as nothing as that void the void is not more nothing than this nothing here they're both nothing but there's just different qualities of nothing you can have sort of a full nothing and an empty nothing again the language is limiting us here right so um that's all good and this would be sort of considered the classical neoadvising enlightenment but now let's distinguish that and so so what what that is is again look you're moving downwards on this axis and then you hit a sort of a rock bottom which would be like i mean the most absolute rock bottom if you're going in this direction of consciousness is just a state of pure cessation where you don't even experience colors sounds or body sensations literally nothing imagine like if you were blind in every sensory modality you were blind you were deaf you couldn't even feel your body you couldn't think thoughts anymore and then like literally nothing but you still exist the nothingness exists not the human you the human you is gone because the human you is just comprised of nothing other than these let's say five modalities of sight hearing feeling smell touch taste thought that's really like all you're made out of that's what you the human you is made out of so if all that disappears what's left you might say well nothing is left on dead no you're not dead because death is also something you're thinking you're not dead you're this void and that void exists you might think the void doesn't exist no it exists um so that's going all the way down to the absolute bottom and then when you reach that you could say well what what what more can there be you can't get lower or more empty than that and so in this sense this trajectory of awakening if you want to call that awakening this this form of it leads you to a sort of a natural rock bottom which is this cessation or you can have less less of a deep one where it's not a total cessation of all your perceptions your perceptions are all here still here but you recognize all this as being the void itself too and so that's also you can kind of call that rock bottom maybe not the absolute rock bottom but it's pretty low and so this version of the path seems to have this rock bottom to it and and that's that's fine but now i want to introduce you to the upwards movement of consciousness the upwards movement of consciousness unlike the downwards is not about shutting off the mind in fact it makes no difference whether your mind is active or not and in fact an active mind in this situation is not necessarily a bad thing in fact not only is it not necessarily a bad thing it's actually a good thing so imagine that consciousness your consciousness is like a knob that we can spin infinitely in both directions we can spin the knob to zero and that's sort of its natural limit it doesn't go into the negatives or you can spin it the other direction and as you spin it that way it spins forever and it just keeps increasing to infinity and then even there you can have multiple orders of infinity because there are multiple orders of infinity not just one there are infinity of infinities that's the nature of absolute infinity so yeah you keep spinning it this way and after you spin it you know past let's say 10 let's let's say normally your conscious is like at a one or two you spin it to a 10. that's sort of the limits of ordinary human existence once you start spinning it beyond that you're beyond being human at this point um and what's happening when this knob is being spun upwards is that you're moving up the y-axis here and your mind is going from a finite human mind into a what i would call a super mind and then ultimately into an infinite mind which is the same as god mind universal mind we could call it that as well so you're you're you're in a sense when this is happening it feels very different than just sitting and meditating peacefully when you're sitting and meditating peacefully you're sort of stripping reality of all of the human egoic projections like there's usually chairs and tables and cats and dogs running around in trees and the sun light is shining and that's all human projection but when you are meditating you quiet down your mind and it strips all of those things of those projections and labels and categories and then you see like you might look at a chair or a table and you might not even recognize what it is you're looking at it you see its color and its shape but like it doesn't even appear to you as a chair or a table per se because that's just a category you were projecting upon it right and so um everything becomes sort of meaningless valueless one thing is not better or more beautiful than another thing this is sort of what happens and you start to experience this sort of maybe expansiveness or sense of spaciousness to your consciousness that's going downwards now going upwards is difficult to communicate what that really feels like and what that's really about separate from how people portray perhaps it as the ego mind so what i'm talking about here is not ego mind i'm talking about supermind and infinite mind what is that because i think a lot of people dismiss these higher minds as just ego and what i'm telling you is that that's a mistake so uh consciousness has the capacity for understanding that's something it can inherently do now what exactly understanding is is a very mysterious and difficult thing to articulate i don't even know how to articulate it yet that's something i've been working on for a couple of years now is just articulating what consciousness is i mean what understanding is so understanding is a capacity of consciousness we might say and notice that understanding is different from knowledge it's different from information it's different from memory it's different from belief or ideology of any kind what i'm talking about is that you try to connect with this in your direct experience you have a capacity to understand at the very least parts of reality if not the whole thing for example you have the capacity to understand a door whereas an animal might not be under not might not be able to understand what a door is and how it works like if you take a rat and you show him a door he's not going to understand what a door is but you as a human could and at one point in your life you didn't understand what doors were and then now you do understand and now be careful here because i'm not just talking about egoic projections onto the door of course we can say that the the door that's a label that's an abstract category that the ego projects on it and then what functions the door has we could say well isn't that just a goick you know isn't that part of survival that we use doors and and for us they have a certain function but really that function is not baked into the door it's mostly just a projection yes of course but i'm saying that still in an absolute sense you can understand things in the world and that's not just an illusion that's something your conscious can do it can also misunderstand things so it's tricky course self-deception is rampant and it's always operative if you're not careful so what i want to suggest to you is that consciousness does not merely have the ability to take different states from high to low from all this sort of content to a dmt experience if you're going very high you know lots of visual content and dmt experience normally or you can go very low and it's sort of like cessation yes conscious can take all these states yes consciousness can just be expansive again it can just sort of be being it can just is but that's not all conscious can do consciousness can grasp itself in a synthetic holistic interconnected way so i want you to start to understand or think about understanding as let's just for now let's let's use this image of imagine a bunch of dots and they're becoming more interconnected each dot is reaching out to every other dot and drawing connections and lines between them into this complex web and the more connections are drawn between them the more the dots each dot if you imagine they were like separate little islands and you know we're building bridges between all these separate islands now each dot you know the people who live on that island they can travel across the bridge and they can intermingle and they can start to understand each other they can experience each other's cultures and whatever was happening on that island right and so as this you know chain of violence is getting all interconnected it's becoming unified in a holistic manner where before it was all segregated and you could say that it is understanding itself as it's doing that to greater degrees as another example here imagine that we have a coffee table and we put a monopoly board on it and we lay it all out all the pieces the money the the tokens the the characters and the houses and little you know hotels you can buy and all this stuff and so we set up the entire monopoly board now if we get a child like a three-year-old child to walk in to that room and look at the board and let's say he's not familiar with board games at all he's never seen one in his life this is his first time he looks at it and he doesn't know what he's looking at what the hell is this thing it looks very complicated it's got a bunch of pieces to it they're arranged in a very deliberate order it's not just a you know a random mess of stuff he he would probably look at it he'd be very puzzled by what this thing is maybe he would pick up the pieces and move them around but he doesn't know how to make sense of it he doesn't know what the game it is about he doesn't even know yet that it's a game he doesn't know where it came from who invented it nothing unless we start to teach him about that so in that sense we might say that's sort of like what it looks like for a meditator when he looks at the board with his mind shut off he just sees it the way a child would see it and that's good that's valuable but there's something else that's possible which a lot of meditators overlook which is that you can as an adult with you know benefit of experience so forth you can actually look at that board and you can actually become conscious and understand what it's about why it exists as it exists in that form why it was arranged that way now i'm not saying your understanding at that point is absolute you don't understand everything about the board but you understand some degree like you understand it's a game you understand how the pieces should move what the pieces are for why they were designed this way right because the board has a certain design to it a certain intention and a deliberate purpose behind some of the ways that things move and why the colors are the way they are the shapes the properties the little hotels what they're for and so on now we might say your understanding is still extremely limited at that level but also notice what's happening is that you are sort of interconnecting dots as you're developing this understanding you're sort of grasping it holistically when you look at it but it's it's very far from a truly full understanding of it because like you probably don't know who invented the board what factory it was manufactured in what the uh you know what color dies were used what brand of paint was used on the board how it was printed what kind of printers were used and where the wood came from for little houses or the plastic that little pieces are made you don't know where what kind of plastic it is so there's a lot you don't know in fact there's like a million times more that you don't know about the board than that you do and you can keep getting very very detailed about this but imagine that you were like this monopoly board connoisseur and you just studied about boards about this board and you traced literally like the entire chain of causation for the where this board came from you actually went to the factory and you talked to the people who made that specific board that's in your house and you you discovered their first and last names and then you discovered the names of their children like you went really deep on this right and you can see it it's like the tentacles of this thing they just keep sort of branching out into infinity because there's so much complexity like imagine you you discovered the names of the children of the guy who made the board and then you actually went to you know the factory worker i mean not the designer but the factory worker because the designers long dead but the factory worker and then you went to like his his his children's like school recitals and you actually sat there and you learn about their chil his children and you you develop a deep relationship with the children and you you found out how the lives of the children affected the parent who works at this factory who created your board and you might say well that's ridiculous what's the point of this well imagine for a moment that all you cared about is just pure understanding you wanted just to understand as much as humanly possible or really even beyond humanly see the problem is that your mind would run out of capacity you literally wouldn't have enough memory to hold all of the data and details and of course it would also take up all of your time so that you you couldn't even live a life anymore because your whole life would just be devoted to tracking down all of these different leads to understand your little monopoly board and this just gets you to start to appreciate just how complex even one little piece of reality is let alone the entire planet or the entire solar system or galaxy or something so anyways but if you did do this what would happen is that you would develop a deeper and deeper and richer understanding of the board more and more of the dots would be interconnected and just imagine hypothetically that if we cranked your consciousness up beyond superhuman levels and we focused all of that on the board at some point you would be able to have an infinite understanding of the board you would know everything about the board you would track down every lead and you would be able to hold it all simultaneously in your consciousness not as a human anymore but as something superhuman supermind can you see that that might be a profound thing just to understand a monopoly board infinitely that in itself might be very profound it might change your life it might change your attitude towards life certainly at the very least to the board you might appreciate the board a lot more if you had an infinite understanding of it but that's just the board now imagine that we took that and we didn't apply to a board or to a cat or to a dog or to a human or to a tree or to the planet but we applied it to the entire universe all of existence reality with a capital r and we started to crank up that consciousness knob but with a focus on all of reality the most inclusive focus the most expansive such that there could not be a more expansive more inclusive focus right so we're not limiting ourselves to any one feature of reality or object of reality and we're being completely unbiased here we're not we're not biasing our consciences towards anything which we were doing in the case of the monopoly board because after all why focus on the monopoly board over your cat or your dog or a tree or whatever else so anyways what i'm trying to communicate is that if you do that what's happening is that you're moving up this axis the y-axis to what i would call god realization and then when you fully achieve an infinite fully interconnected understanding of reality that is what i'm calling god realization and that's the particular kind of awakening or experience that i'm going to be you know sharing with you today um my deepest one yet so basically what's been happening with me over the last five years or so is that as i was releasing more and more of this content um it's not only something i do for money you see this is also something that helps my own mind interconnect a lot of dots i release videos to release a video i have to do research for it i have to contemplate it think about it and even in the process of communicating it live like right now i'm also you know i'm saying things but i'm also sort of processing it at the same time there's sort of a self-reflection going on and then of course once i release it i also think about how people react to it i read the comments i take in the feedback i sort all the feedback in my mind that makes me think even deeper um one of the reasons i read so much feedback so many comments and even post so many replies to comments you might think that's just a waste of time isn't that an egotistical thing you're only doing it for the validation or something no actually the reason i do it is because it helps my own thought process it helps me to see how other people are viewing basically every piece of feedback is like a perspective an extra perspective i get on reality and on myself and i can integrate more and more of those and it helps me to interconnect more things in my mind and so i've been i've been doing that for the last well really since the beginning of of actualize.org and as i've been having more and more awakenings over a hundred awakenings at this point and sharing them and thinking about them and contemplating them and questioning them and finding little errors in here and little misconceptions i've made here and there and how i interpreted things as i'm doing that i'm interconnecting more and more stuff stuff is getting deeper for me it's not that anything is really being contradicted you might think like well leo this new awakening contradicts your old one no it doesn't contradict it just it deepens it it deepens it it reveals additional facets that perhaps weren't emphasized in the previous one and it it interconnects previous facets that perhaps were isolated fragments that it integrates them together into a deeper and richer understanding of what's going on and this understanding is not just an egoic thing open your mind to such a possibility that it's not ego that is doing this now it could be ego but it could also not be ego and that's a difficult distinction to make but we're going to try to make it and also what i've been doing over the last few years is i've been doing detox protocols to detox my brain the physical brain from heavy metals and other toxins and i've done quite a few rounds of these detox protocols i'll share them with you in the future i don't have time here to go into the details of that but basically i've discovered these powerful detox protocols that have significantly cleared up the sharpness of how my mind works like it's very very significant is what i'll tell you and it does actually affect one's baseline level of consciousness it affects one's mood basically what happens is that when you detox heavy metals from your brain your mood improves your concentration improves your brain fog lifts um you become more conscious as a baseline you become more calm and stable your mind is not as agitated and in monkey mind mode and also what's really powerful is that due to this added clarity of mind um it almost feels like a fog is lifted from from your from your mind and um and also it significantly improves one's psychedelic experiences it it purifies them it removes because your mind is more stable it's almost like you might imagine if you have a dirty brain and a dirty mind in the sense that it's chaotic you're thinking all sorts of fearful thoughts and anxious thoughts and you can't focus for even five seconds and and you're just jumping around you're lost in monkey mind if that's your kind of mind and then you take a psychedelic that mind gets amplified and all of those disturbances and impurities create turbulence in the flow of consciousness so as you you know imagine a sort of a laminar flow of fluid through a sort of like a a wind turbine or you know some of those sort of like fluid simulations that physicists do to to look at you know flow dynamics and turbulence yeah you've probably seen some of those on youtube hopefully so yeah so imagine that like you're running this experiment but that that flow represents your mind and most people's minds are pretty turbulent but then what happens when we crank up the volume and the velocity of the flow the turbulence becomes chaotic and it starts to completely you know it just turns into a complete mess that's what psychedelics do to you when you have a unstable mind if you have mental illness or paranoia or whatever they will feed into that and make it much worse and from here you can get your really bad trips but imagine if you purified your mind you really cleaned it out not only at the psychological level you know you integrated your traumas you healed those you've addressed certain fears and paranoia you have you set those back you've let go of various kinds of attachments for sex and for money and for food and and for approval and so you've done a lot of this kind of basic self-help work and you just have a nice clean healthy human mind and also though you've worked on it at the physical level of doing detox and removing all the toxins that were slowing your mind down and now your mind is really clear and now when you take a psychedelic you've got this the rate is increased everything is flowing and just flows beautifully and perfectly there's no turbulence and so that's something that's been happening to me over the last two years is that as i've cleaned up my physical brain the experiences i've had with psychedelics have taken on a whole new level of clarity what you get is clarity and what you get is understanding and interconnectedness and holism deeper and deeper levels of that again i will share the detox protocols with you in the future that requires a separate specific episode it's a little bit technical so um this just the reason i'm explaining all this is so you kind of see where i'm coming from and why maybe the awakenings are getting deeper so anyways how to explain this um what happened to me was that i experienced a a new level of god realization uh that was more holistic than any other before and i mean i've had god realizations in the past so that itself is nothing new to me but uh i was just i was blown away by just the the clarity and holism of this specific god realization that i had i'll describe it to you here in a moment but basically what happens is that once that knob is cranked to a sort of a high level there's a very distinct point in your consciousness that is reached where you shift from human consciousness into god realization which means that like right now you're sitting here and you feel like a human you feel like you have a past you have a future you have parents you were born you're living on a planet earth in a certain country in a certain city you believe all these things and you think that that's reality but then when the knob is cranked high enough what happens is that your understanding of what this moment is becomes so deeply interconnected with itself and you become conscious of the entirety of your own mind the human mind and how it works so basically what's happening is that your consciousness sort of almost like it's like it's like pulling back it's not a visual thing but it's sort of like you're conscious able to pull back and go so meta to be able to transcend everything occurring within the human mind even things you thought were not part of the human mind such as like most people don't think that your birth is part of the human mind they think that's a part of reality they don't think that their parents are part of their human mind do they think their parents are separate objects that are real and that exists they think that their memories are not just part of the human mind those are things that actually happened they think that the planet earth is not just a part of human mind it's something i'm sitting on right now but that's because planet earth your parents your cat your dog your memories the future of the past the idea of your death all of these you're not going sufficiently meta on you you don't actually you're not able to transcend it with your own consciousness because your consciousness is too limited it's in too limited of a state you're stuck in a limited state but once the state expands you can zoom out of all that so to speak go meta on all of that and then there it there's a very distinct threshold that consciousness crosses where you look at the room and this present moment and what your hands and your body at what is happening here and you realize very distinctly aha this is god what i'm referring to by god realization is that threshold that is crossed it's a very distinct threshold those of you who do psychedelics and have a lot of experience with you might understand what i'm talking about maybe you experienced it although it's not guaranteed that you've experienced this a lot of people do psychedelics and they never experience this for a variety of reasons they're doing them wrong the dose is wrong they're not deconstructing their mind enough whatever many different reasons they're too scared the ego is still too attached see the problem is that you do have to in order to reach this this point you have to have a ridiculously already interconnected understanding of reality you can't just come into this fresh like a newbie with some sort of scientific materialist paradigm and think that you're going to be able to cro cross this boundary the cost of crossing this boundary is like you have to really i mean you're going to be losing your ego here you're going to be facing your death here so if you're not comfortable with doing that you're going to be resisting so see i've i've i've had over 100 of these awakenings so by this point i have no resistance to this whatsoever so for me it's completely effortless but for the average person there's gonna be a lot of effort and it wasn't effortless for me from the beginning i went through a lot of effort to reach this point right so this is a this is years and years of work really a decade of work to get to this point and it's not just about the psychedelics it's even more so it's how how deeply do you really want to want to understand how much of your normal sober life do you devote to actually thinking about these things and interconnecting the dots because if you don't like if you spend your sober life doing stupid [ __ ] not caring about anything then you take a psychedelic well the psychedelic is just gonna it's not gonna it's not gonna really make you understand very much in fact it might make you more confused and the problem is that these many of these spiritual teachers and traditions they de-emphasize understanding in fact they demonize it and they treat it as though it's the ego mind and they tell you that stop understanding anything just sit down shut up and just meditate or self-inquire and they think that this is sufficient it's not sufficient is what i'm telling you so anyways you cross this distinct point of god realization but it doesn't stop there that's just the beginning you've just entered god realization now there are many degrees of god realization and really what's characteristic about god realization is that you are you are not don't get me wrong here this is very important to distinguish you're not having a merely a mystical experience you're not merely coming face to face with jesus or with the buddha you're not experiencing angels or ufos or dmt entities or some sort of mother ayahuasca spirit that will show you something beautiful or important about your life no all of that is horseshit what i'm talking about here is the pinnacle of consciousness in the god realization a true proper god realization is none of that stuff it's completely you you take complete full ownership of yourself as the creator of this experience there is no other present that's what distinguishes this from and makes it higher than any of those other lesser what i would call lesser mystical or occult type of spiritual experiences those can all be valuable experiences you know you might see like if you take some ayahuasca you might see a serpent snake appear before you and start talking to you and telling you things about your life and how to be more loving that's all good but that is not what i'm talking about what i'm talking about is becoming so conscious that you're too conscious for some snake to appear before you you're too conscious for mother ayahuasca you're too conscious for science you're too conscious for this idea that oh well this is all just chemicals in the brain you're even too conscious now for the idea that you took a psychedelic at all you're too conscious you're so conscious now that you take complete ownership of yourself as the creator of reality this is extremely radical you're no longer in a state of consciousness per se you are literally god you're in full god mode and when you move your hands you you are completely conscious of how you are literally creating your hand and its motion with your will and your infinite creative capacity and not just your hands but this entire bubble of consciousness that you're in you become fully conscious of the illusion of reality you become fully conscious of the dream how you're constructing the dream and why you're constructing the dream you become conscious of how you imagined your parents and why you imagined your parents you become conscious of how you imagined your dog and why you imagined your dog you're able to penetrate with consciousness into your own psyche and mind in such a deep fashion that you're able to even see through the imaginary nature of for example physical reality or science atoms molecules these things you realize were just imaginary specific instantiations of things you could have imagined otherwise like you could have imagined for example that um instead of your car being made up out of little atoms that it was made up of cats and dogs little little cats and dogs for example and so you kind of zoom out and you start to understand the imaginary nature of what you're doing to yourself and it's just it's so ridiculously radical that we're just getting started explaining how radical this is for example what happened with me uh several things happened with me but one thing that happened with me was i sort of i started to zoom in onto this kind of notion of time when it's time and of course i zoomed out so far and went so meta on the notion of time that of course my past and my future completely collapsed into the present moment such that those things were just they were so imaginary the idea of having been born as a human or even having gone to school or even having taken a psychedelic uh ever in my life all of these things were just pure imagination they never happened but i zoomed out even further from that and what i saw is like the entire possibility space of everything that could be imagined as time like normally we think of time as flowing in one direction from past through present to future and we think well that's how time is right just a physical fact no it's not a physical fact that's how you imagine it to be i was able to imagine time flowing in opposite directions and not just that but to see that time could be multi-dimensional not just a single axis back and forth future and past but imagine that there are multiple dimensions to time orthogonal directions that humans ordinarily are not even conscious of and then imagine millions of different timelines that could be imagined you know you could imagine yourself having been a human who was born in the roman times or in ancient egypt or in during world war ii or anything on on mars in the future you can imagine all these different timelines of human lives so you become conscious of all of that and that really what happened was that you are pulling right now this present moment that you're experiencing as a human in this particular timeline that you are sort of living in that's just one little thread out of an infinite ball of possible timelines that you just selected for yourself to be here as god you consciously selected this particular timeline but then you zoom out of that even further and you realize that time itself this entire ball of time of all the possible timelines this is just pure fantasy it's pure imagination and you just discard that entire ball and you're completely free of time and even the idea that you were ever constrained by time or that you're even living in in a particular strand of of of that ball of time and then you do the same thing with space too you transcend space and then you do it with your memories you realize that all of your memories were just narratives and stories that you were concocting for yourself in order to construct this illusion of a human life and you you zoom out of memory and memory itself is like this uh infinite fractal of all the possible memories that could ever be had like imagine all the memories that your brother has your sister has your mother has your father has your friends have imagine all the memories they could possibly have imagine having access to all of their memories imagine having access to all the memories of every human on the entire planet that has ever lived and every creature that will ever exist in the universe imagine the entire possibility space of all memories ever that could ever be thought up by consciousness so you access that also sort of like like a ball of of yarn very giant complex ball of yarn and you can pick memories out of there and you selected memories from there to construct this particular memory complex that you call yourself and then you discard that whole thing because you realize the whole thing is just a figment of god's imagination your imagination and so you transcend memory of course you transcend physicality because all of science you realize is just also every physical scientific law that you know atoms molecules evolution all of this you also realize that was also just a ball of scientific you know stories that you could pull from you transcend that whole thing when you do that you're no longer sitting on planet earth planet earth disappears atoms and molecules disappear like fictions like santa claus you realize that an atom is no realer than santa claus or than a unicorn the earth is no more real than a unicorn at this point and um you transcend that and then you transcend a people you realize that every person that you've ever interacted with was just one little figment pulled from an infinite possibility space of all people that could ever be imagined of course this includes animals as well aliens it doesn't matter what it is uh if you're thinking about you know mother ayahuasca if you're thinking about the snake you saw during some dmt trip if you if if you're thinking about dmt entities all of those those are just being pulled from another ball of you know mystical deities you can you can pull from that ball all you want there's an infinite number of deities you could imagine ganesha vishnu shiva whatever it is your ideas of jesus and buddha all of those you realize those were pure pure fiction there's no such thing as a jesus or a buddha pure fiction your guru your favorite guru who taught you you know you've been you've been listening to some guru for the last 10 years pure fiction there never was a guru you just invented it you pulled it from a ball of infinite gurus your parents your friends your teachers everybody of course that includes me and so that's very radical because you're very deep attachment to people it's very shocking to realize how people are being constructed so what i'm talking about here is really omniscience you literally have the omniscience of god and your omniscience is so high that you're completely conscious of how this present experience whatever it is is being constructed by you consciously so when you think of your mod of your mother whereas before as a human when you think of your mother it's like oh yeah that's my mom i'll go you know i'll go meet with her on mother's day i'll talk with her on the phone and you know she's a real person she gave birth to me that's like your normal human orientation to that fantasy but in this omniscient mode that i'm talking about as soon as the thought of your mother arises the memory of your mother arises the the desire to speak to your mother rises you're so freaking conscious and you've so transcended this that you're completely conscious of how you're literally constructing your mother from scratch and it's freaky because then you're like well wait a minute but what about my real mother i mean yeah i'm imagining my mother now but what about the real one and then you realize oh [ __ ] the real one that's just something i imagined right now and you're like no no but but the real mother that gave birth to me and then you realize oh wait a minute someone giving birth to me that's also something i'm imagining and you're like [ __ ] but then where did i come from and then you you realize where did i come from that's also something i'm imagining where and coming from these are all [ __ ] imaginary so basically what happens is that it's such a radical omniscience that you completely transcend every single attachment of your mind that was grounding your reality and by these attachments what i mean is that your reality is anchored by things like memories ideas of planet earth science religion your father your mother what you're going to be doing tomorrow your boss the work you have the career you have whether you're a male or a female your dog's name your name all of these things every single one of these anchors is seen to be imaginary and when this happens literally your entire sense of physical reality disappears past and future disappear so radically that they can't even be imagined to exist anymore you're so conscious you cannot fool yourself anymore at all you are god consciousness and in this moment you realize what reality really is what life is you realize that it's nothing other than a trick that you're playing on yourself this is the core you've finally broken through the spell not by entering some emptiness state that buddhists talk about no no this is much more radical than that here you're so freaking conscious that you literally have infinite power to construct any kind of reality you want and you enter a mode of not just total omniscience but omnipotence infinite power infinite will this means your will instantly materializes into any physical object that you want that means that if you want a billion dollars in your bank account you can create it instantly just by thinking about it now it's not as simple as you think though because you see at this level of consciousness there is no ego the ego is long gone the idea that you even have a bank account is gone see you're thinking you materialists and atheists and scientists who are who are listening to this and trying to debunk me like oh leo i got you now i got you now how show us your bank account where's your billion dollars you're full of [ __ ] you're being so stupid you have to listen to what i'm saying because what i'm saying is very nuanced it's extremely radical at the level of consciousness that i'm talking about where you literally are able to physically materialize anything you want the reason you're able to do it is because you are so conscious you understand that everything is imaginary that means that when you're thinking of your bank account like right now as a materialist as a debunker sitting there trying to debunk me you are under the spell of believing that you actually have a bank account you you genuinely believe that you have a bank account a physical bank account that exists somewhere in the universe on some computer server somewhere and it and then it has a certain amount of money in it already what i'm telling you is that when you're infinitely conscious you're so conscious that you realize that your bank account is imaginary you've been imagining your bank account the entire time you've been imagining the amount of dollars in your bank account down to the penny the entire time in fact there is no time you're imagining it right now so when you understand that you're literally creating your bank account your bank didn't create your bank account your bank is imaginary you imagined your bank creating your bank account that's how you created the bank account you said no leo i went to the bank five years ago and i remember i was sitting in the bank and i opened my bank account i signed the documents and i put money in there i put cash in there and now my money is there and i got a little card you just imagined that that didn't happen you just imagined that but you're not conscious of it you're not conscious of what you're doing that's the whole problem and this is how you're creating reality you're getting stuck in it you're always imagining stuff and then you're just buying into whatever you're imagining without questioning it but in this omnipotent state of consciousness you're so conscious that literally anything you want to construct you can construct you can imagine any number of dollars in your bank account you can imagine having sex with anyone you want for as long as you want you can imagine eating any kind of food you want as much of it as you want without getting fat and without even getting full you're literally now in heaven this is what heaven is heaven is being so powerful that you can literally construct your own personal paradise of pleasure and it lasts for eternity whatever you want you can have there's no limits whatsoever unconscious but there's a cost you might say leo what's the catch what's the catch you don't have a billion dollars what's the catch leo are you saying that i could imagine a billion dollars and that it would just i would imagine just for me or it would also exist for other people too in the sort of objective world leah which one are you saying you don't mean it it affects the objective world do you like i'm not actually going to be able to go and like buy a yacht with this building now this is just some imaginary it's just a vision it's just a vision of money right again you're not realizing how radical this is at this level of consciousness there is no objective world there is no such thing as consensus reality there is no such thing as other people who will take your money or deny your money or care about your money you are completely sovereign as god so really it's up to you if you imagine that other people can see the money in your bank account then they can and if you imagine that it's only for you like a private hallucination for you because you're on a psychedelic you can and by the way by this point you've completely transcended the idea of psychedelics there are no psychedelics they never existed they were purely imaginary psychedelics were just something you invented in order to trick yourself into thinking that you weren't infinitely conscious and infinitely powerful so it's it's the it's the ultimate strange loop here's the cost and here's i i came up with a little analogy to help you materialists and atheists and rationalists and debunkers make sense of of why there's this important trade-off and why it's not so easy as just imagining a billion dollars in your bank account because look when you're that conscious and you're able to construct whatever you want for yourself it's an infinite fantasy the problem though is that if you have no limits whatsoever upon what you can materialize and create then it loses all meaning and purpose and value that's the trade-off and this trade-off is absolutely unavoidable what you don't recognize as a materialist is that you're so used to living under the constraints of human life that you've just taken all these constraints for granted you've taken for granted that for example you can't imagine a million dollars in your bank account and just appears tomorrow you've taken for granted that it can't happen that doesn't mean there's anything physical or scientific preventing it from happening all it means is that you're just you're literally constructing that and that's the kind of life you're living why you might say leo but why why would i construct this shitty limited reality where i can't imagine all the sex i want all the food i want why does the food make me fat why do why do why are there car crashes why little babies starve and all sorts of things like this and now you finally understand once you enter this level of omnipotence you understand what you understand is think of it like this look i used to be a video game designer uh 10 years ago or so even [Music] further in the past i would um you know i would sit there in a video game editor and just like edit games i would i made mods for oblivion for elder scrolls um that's kind of where i started but anyways in when you're designing a game in in the game editor you're like it's the level editor you're setting up the game you're placing where the loot is where the objects are where the buildings are and where the characters are you're placing all this but then there's and then you could enter the game you can play it you can place the stuff when you're placing stuff you can play stuff anywhere you can place objects you can give infinite amount of you know npcs however much power you you can like just increase their power you can increase their damage you can decrease their health whatever you want you can make a male female you can change their face anything you're in god mode as a designer then when you enter the game you know you plus run you press the run button you enter the game now you're playing now you're constrained by all the rules of the game you can't jump too high you can't run too fast you have limited health limited lives limited weapons limited attack powers you're vulnerable you can die you can't walk through walls you can't walk through the earth and so forth and you might say well but that sucks why why do the designers do it this way why doesn't someone give me a game where i have infinite power i'm not tired of of all these [ __ ] limited games where i can't walk through walls i have to stay on the earth i can't jump infinitely high i can't have infinite money and all these sorts of things and see it might seem like that's what you want but that's not what you really want because if you got that there would be no more game it would lose all meaning for you the point of the game is the challenge that's what makes the game hard it's the limits what a game is is a set of artificially self-imposed limits that you place on yourself for the purposes of seeing how you tackle those limits and obstacles in interesting ways in dramatic ways in entertaining ways and then you have fun and you get immersed in that because if you literally are in full god mode and there actually was in oblivion in the elder scrolls editor there actually is a console command called god mode on or something along those lines where you literally put yourself into god mode and allows you to have infinite health infinite ammo infinite weapon damage you can walk through walls you can fly around you're not affected by gravity you can do anything it's like a debug mode it's very helpful when you're trying to build your levels and you know when you're building them you get stuck in the walls and things like that so it's very helpful for a designer to have this god mode i think most game editors have a god mode um but the problem is that you don't actually you can't enjoy the game from god vote the god mode is for building the game to enjoy the game you got to disable the god mode well consider the possibility that the universe itself reality itself has a god mode in this god mode you can literally design entire [ __ ] planets from scratch using your will and they instantly magically appear because there's absolutely no limits of consciousness that's what you realize in this god mode and if you want you can create an entire planet from scratch down to the to the atomic level and it costs you nothing it costs you no money no energy no resources nothing it costs you nothing it's free completely free what's the problem the problem is that it's completely meaningless and pointless see you as a human are sitting here and thinking like no oh my god leo that would be so amazing if what you're saying is true it would be so amazing it's so amazing from your point of view because you're so stuck in limited reality so for you as a human imagining that you can just dream up a planet it appears or dream up some sexy model to to have sex with and she appears before you for you that seems like a dream come true but just really think about it very realistically and practically we're not in fairy tale land here we're actually being very practical if you could just dream up women to have sex with and new planets how quickly would you lose interest in life would there be any value see what you don't realize is that the only reason you value sex so much is because you get so little of it and it's so hard to get and the more of it you get the less you value it those of you who've been in pickup and have had a lot of sex during parts of your life you can you know what i'm talking about but even those of you who have not been in pickup let's say you just find you know a girl or a boy that you really um fall in love with and then you know for that honeymoon period you're having sex all the time you're having sex every day maybe twice a day and you do that for a week after a week of sex twice a day you're exhausted you're sick of it you're bored of it you don't even want it anymore you just want to go play some video games now why because the value of things is their rarity the more common a thing is in your life the less you value it and if it's so common that it's ever present you just completely ignore it and stop even caring about it for example oxygen how much time you spend thinking about oxygen you need oxygen to breathe oxygen is like the most basic of survival needs well actually without oxygen you'll be dead in five minutes do you think about it do you care about it no because you just assume that it's here it's constant it's ever present would you pay a thousand dollars for oxygen no of course not why if someone tried to charge you a thousand dollars of oxygen you would think they're ripping you off why only because it's everywhere but if you were stuck on mars or on the moon you might pay a thousand dollars for oxygen you see so have you ever like if you're a serious gamer have you ever been looking forward to a great game that comes out the game comes out and then maybe your friend comes to you and says oh look i got the cheat codes for this game let's let's play this game and let's just give ourselves infinite lives infinite continues infinite health infinite power and you look at him and you're like what's wrong with you this is a game i want to enjoy i've been waiting for this game for the last year this is a great you know rpg i'm going to immerse myself this kind of aaa rpg comes out maybe once every five years so like i really want to play this thing in fact i'm going to set it on hard difficulty i don't want to play this on easy easy is for idiots i want to play it on hard i don't want any cheat codes that's going to spoil my experience if you're a serious gamer this is how you play your games you want your games hard not easy you don't want to be hand held through the game that defeats the entire purpose of the game and maybe sometimes you know actually games have been so dumbed down today compared to how they used to be in the past they used to be much more hardcore you know today they even have modes and games that are like it's called like a journalist mode it's it's like it's so easy that you can't even die it's just designed for journalists to literally just like walk through the game like an amusement park and just look around for the purposes of writing an article about it or something does that give the journalist a true experience of the game no because for a true gamer the point of the game is the challenge of the game and this journalist mode if you're a hardcore gamer you look down upon this journalist mode you think that's that's [ __ ] stupid that's how it works how about a game like dark souls some of you guys play this like one of the most difficult games it's known for the brutality of how difficult it is it's deliberately designed to be unfair and [ __ ] difficult to the point of wanting to tear your hair out um people love this game precisely because it's so difficult imagine if you're a dark souls fan imagine this imagine if you enter dark souls the next dark souls that you're looking forward to coming out imagine you enter dark souls and you have infinite health you have infinite lives if you walk off a cliff nothing happens to you you can travel anywhere you can go to the end of the game immediately you can go to the final boss right now and all you have to do is you just have to look at him and he's dead what's the point of that [ __ ] game there's no point the beauty of a game when it's really well designed and this is very difficult to do such games are rare is to have the perfect balance between your abilities and all the obstacles and limitations in the game that's the duality of the game that's what creates the drama the fun the excitement the ups the downs if it's too difficult if it's so unfair that it's just ridiculous you get frustrated you quit if it's too easy you get bored and you quit it has to be right in the middle the sweet spot that's the perfect game well likewise for life and so what you finally become conscious of in this god mode is you realize that even though right now in this mode you're in you're in heaven you can literally imagine and do anything you want and as this is happening to you you realize that you don't even need any of those material things see this is another problem is that humans have this material attachment you think that oh leo if i just got a bunch of money and i just got a bunch of sex that would make me so happy i would just if i had those powers i would be god and i would just keep you know giving myself blow jobs for the rest of my life but what you don't realize is that all of that is a puny form of pleasure compared to the metaphysical infinite love that you will break through to in this god mode because of course as you'll realize god is love and so you don't even want the sex and the money and the fame [Music] and the yacht and the fast car and all of this [ __ ] because what you have is you literally have unlimited consciousness unlimited power and you're in heaven forever it's purely formless and it's purely metaphysical it's not a physical heaven it's not like the christians imagine where you you go into the in the clouds they feed you grapes and suck your dick every day and you know wave at you with a palm frond to keep you cool these are shallow material petty forms of of heaven true heaven is absolutely formless infinite metaphysical love forever that's real heaven this love is so deep it breaks your heart this love is so deep it makes your entire body convulse and writhe on the floor in agony and ecstasy as you're being pummeled by this infinite love it's like falling into an ocean of infinite love that's bottomless and endless and the deeper you go the more ecstatic and and blissful it gets until the bliss becomes so high that it it literally turns into pain it pains you how how good it is you can't believe how good it is and no matter how good you think it is it gets better and it gets better and just keeps infinitely getting better forever because why not there's no limits see when you realize that consciousness has no limits literally that means you can imagine a heaven that keeps going and going and going forever and getting better and better and better and better forever for eternity but what's the cost what's the trade-off the trade-off is that there's nothing to do there there's no struggle there's no drama there's no limits there's not even form because you don't need form all forms are limited any form you imagine is going to be a limited version of heaven if your version of heaven is having sex with a supermodel or a million supermodels you're stupid because you don't realize that if you were just pure infinite love without any supermodels you would be happier the supermodels are just a substitution and a lack of understanding of what true love is true love is unlimited if you limit your love to just supermodels you have an inferior form of love and you have a lesser heaven so because you're so conscious you you select the highest heaven you don't settle for any lower heavens you select the highest one and in this highest one nothing happens it's just literally pure a singularity of pure orgasmic bliss and love forever so what there's nothing to do there and then you realize why you have this limited life in the first place you were in that heaven for eternity and then you got bored with it and you just wanted to entertain yourself and to experience a limited version of yourself and so what you did is that you literally took away your own power imagined yourself to be powerless little baby that was born on a planet somewhere in the solar system in the universe with people around you who have problems who are dysfunctional with a lack of money with a lack of sex and all these things because really what you're doing is you're constructing a cosmic drama see the materialists think that reality is a mechanical machine like a clockwork i want you to start to think of reality as a dramatic play that god is playing with itself that consciousness is playing with itself imagine if you were all powerful imagine if you could create anything in in the universe including the universe itself imagine that you can structure the universe however you want you can impose any limits you want how would you structure the universe but think about this very carefully be careful how you structure it because you might structure it in a bad way you might say well leo if i had that power i would i would never have babies in africa starving i would not have aids exist i would remove capitalism and uh and murderers and i would not allow hitler to be born and all these sorts of things but you have to understand this is this is a stupid thinking from your little human vantage point your mind has been so corrupted by all of the suffering you've gone through that now your that suffering is corrupting how you actually want to structure reality you want to structure reality in a way that makes you comfortable as a human but that's stupid if you were infinitely powerful the way you would structure reality is that you would actually place intelligent limits in such a way that there would be a perfect balance between your capacities limited capacities as a creature who incarnates into it and the limitations and obstacles that exist such that there would be such a perfect balance that you're always on edge it's always dramatic it's always interesting and fun stuff is happening and the stakes are real it's not just a fantasy in the sense that it's like anything goes you could walk through a wall that's not fun that's not dramatic you feed off the drama of life is what i want you to understand and you would say oh leo i would get rid of pain well then you're stupid because if you got rid of pain there's actually a disorder this is a real disorder that people are born with it's a rare genetic disorder that people are born with an abnormality in the you know in their wiring that they can't feel pain these people usually die by the age of 15 or 20. why because they cut off their finger and they don't feel it and you would say well leo that's that's horrible if i didn't experience pain i wouldn't cut off my fingers but you only say that because of all the lessons of pain you got you learn those lessons and now you you won't do it but if you never had pain to begin with and you cut off your finger how would you even know that's a bad thing the only reason you know that cutting off your finger is a bad thing is because of the pain that you imagine you'll feel pain is literally what you use to know what is bad that is the definition of bad if you had no pain bad would not exist i want you to understand that um but anyways so you realize that you're putting all of these limits in place upon yourself to construct an interesting life and i know that's going to be difficult for for many of you to believe for some of you who've lived a very difficult life with so much trauma and pain and abuse i know that what i'm saying to you now is going to sound preposterous you might say leo maybe you've lived a good life and therefore you can believe this kind of nonsense but you know i've lived a very hard difficult life i've experienced death and suicide in my family and drug addiction and suffering and depression like you wouldn't imagine and i will never believe you'll never get me to believe that um that god would imagine such a thing for me or that i would construct this sort of thing for myself i understand where you're coming from but recognize that that's bias you're not actually being truthful there all you're doing when you say that to me as an argument is that you're saying i've experienced so much suffering and pain that um i would never wish this thing upon myself but suffering and pain have nothing to do with truth or with consciousness yeah suffering and pain don't feel very good but that's just part of the illusion it's just part of the illusion and um you can awaken awaken from that it'll probably be difficult for you the more trauma you've had the more difficult this will be for you precisely because you're in denial about it see are you really willing to accept that all of the trauma that you carry all of the hatred and anger all the bitterness all of the bad memories that all of these are just pure fantasy are you willing to admit that no of course not you carry you attach to your pain and you carry that with you you have a chip on your shoulder you have an axe to grind you have people to hate you have people to judge and you're not willing to surrender these things and also it would like it would make you look like a total fool when you realize that all the people who hurt you are just a fiction of your own mind when you realize that you're gonna feel like such a [ __ ] idiot so finally what you realize when you interconnect all the dots is you realize how and why god is constructing this reality this life this limited human existence it's it's the ultimate trick it's an infinite trick that you are playing on yourself you literally need to fool yourself so thoroughly with science with religion with your birth with memories with fear of death with pain you have to fool yourself so totally that you can't even remember that you were ever god and the reason it has to be this way is because it's precisely because you are god see if you are infinitely conscious just think about this think about the problem that god has here's god's design problem is that god is infinitely conscious of everything at all times forever so if you have that power how can you ever surprise yourself how can you ever experience yourself as anything less than that you can't you're stuck so god's design challenge is to take all of its infinite power and intelligence and to put it towards its own self-deception god literally has to put itself asleep but the trick is that notice how difficult it is to put god to sleep what it takes you can't god can't put himself to sleep with a sort of a matrix simulation because it won't be convincing enough the illusion literally has to be infinitely intelligent to be able to trick god into believing in it so this is the paradox of omnipotence and the paradox of it infinite consciousness and the paradox of infinity is that here's a question for you if god is infinitely powerful does god have the power to take its own power away from itself that's the strange loop paradox of this situation see if you say no god is not powerful enough to take away his own power and to deceive himself then you come into an absurdity because then that means god is not all powerful that means god is not infinite but if you recognize that god is infinite then you have to also recognize that if god is infinite that means god must even have the power to make itself finite that's the closing of the strange loop and so that's exactly what happens is the reason you're finite and limited is precisely because you're unlimited and infinite and that's the collapse and the reconciliation of that duality that set of duality and so what happens is you you basically can't stay in this god mode forever you wouldn't want to anyways it's not as fun as you think it is i mean yeah there's a lot of love there it feels great but it's not really it's not really sort of the human fun that you're used to and so what happens is that you fall back your consciousness lowers back down your state goes back to basically what it was when you were an ordinary human and then you're back you're back in the normal world so to speak and you've got all these limits and you might say well leo then what's the point it was just a hallucination no you calling it a hallucination is the trick that you play on yourself to keep yourself limited so life consists of really only two things life consists of a bunch of stuff that is designed with infinite intelligence to put you to sleep and it consists of a bunch of other stuff which are clues and breadcrumbs that you left behind for yourself to help you to reawaken what you become conscious of is that all of the people in your life all of the games you've been playing all the money chasing all the sex you've been having all the drugs you've been doing all this sort of stuff that all of these things are nothing other than they're not just random things they were deliberately designed by yourself in order to make you fall asleep to buy into the illusion and then to leave that breadcrumb trail so you can break free and sometimes these objects and people are simultaneously both for example the function that i might serve in your life is that i might be helping you to fall asleep and to buy into the illusion deeper how so well you listen to me and then maybe you start thinking i'm a cult leader and you start hating me and you start hate watching my content and you start telling yourself how stupid leo is and how all this stuff he talks about is just lunacy and idiocy and he's lost his mind and you keep doing that and in that sense you're you're developing you're you're you're taking your illusion and you're drawing yourself deeper and deeper and mesmerizing yourself into it and this strengthens your sense of physical reality or conversely you could listen to me and you can maybe intuit that what i'm saying is correct in some way and you can start doing the work and start discovering these things for yourself doing the practices and then you could actually see use my words as breadcrumbs to help yourself to awaken it's both depending on how you take it and so it is with with everyone in your life and everything in your life something bad happens to you you can take it as a as something that will push you more to sleep or it'll awaken you for example someone dies in your family how are you going to respond to that well you can start freaking out over it and get depressed over it and become bitter and angry over this for the rest of your life that puts you deeper to sleep you get drawn deeper into your ego into all of your fears and hatreds or you could you can grieve for that person you can heal your wounds over that the death of that person you can get over it and you can use that to make you stronger to make you more loving to make you more forgiving of yourself and them and and the the conflicts you've had together and it can make you better in your future relationships it can make me you are more compassionate empathetic person in the future it can make me you rethink the way that you didn't treat people as good as you wanted to and that in the future you're going to treat people better right and eventually even it could lead you to start to think about what is death why am i afraid of death is death even a bad thing and then you think about that and then eventually you could awaken if you go down that road you could also kill yourself i don't recommend that one i recommend awakening instead of suicide um so so you see and that it's that way for everything that's happening in your life but it takes a very deep consciousness and a wisdom and intelligence to see that because normally you're just kind of sleepwalking through life and stuff is happening to you and you just think it's just material stuff like someone crashed into me my dog died yesterday and you know they ran out of food at the grocery store and all these problems that i'm dealing with i got to answer an email i got to do this gotta do that well like yeah this this this all sucks you in that's what reality is it's an illusion but it's an illusion that is virtually indistinguishable from reality because there's nothing else to compare it to there's no alternative there's only the illusion when all you have is illusion the illusion is reality but the illusion is flexible is fluid you can break the illusion if you want to just how much do you want to are you sure you want to do you understand what will happen if you break the illusion you might think oh that's so great yeah i want to break the illusion are you sure you want to break it what you'll realize if you completely break it is that actually you want it back it's just like life you don't realize the value of what you have until you lose it sometimes in life you spend years and years trying to move away from something and then finally you do and you realize [ __ ] i want it back i didn't realize how how important it was to me like maybe maybe you're a teenager and you're living with your parents and it's a struggle you don't get along with them and all you can do is you just you can't wait to turn 21 or 18 or just move out you're just dreaming of of the day that happens and then it happens and on the day it happens like let's say you you're 21 and you finally move out get your own job get your own place and then finally you're sitting there all alone in your new condo with your new fancy job and your new fancy car and you're sitting there and there's nothing to do and you're bored and you get sad and you get depressed and you start thinking about oh but you know when i was a kid with my parents you know during christmas time we would have a party and share food and share stories and have laughs and and that was so beautiful and now here i am all alone sitting in my condo late at night with my fast car with my great job with a bunch of money bank account and i'm more miserable than i was when i had no money no fast car no separate house my parents were nagging me sometimes and so forth but at least i had the love and the connection from my family and maybe now you start to fantasize about [ __ ] how do i move back with my to my family that's how it is at the cosmic scale so when you get all the consciousness in the world you realize what's it good for it's boring you want drama you want action you want material form you want entertainment and so boom here you are incarnated as a human imagining a past imagining a future imagining in all directions see what's happening with your life your life is not something that was born one day and then started to unroll that never happened you're just imagining that what's really happening is that you've existed forever right here this this this emptiness right here this consciousness pure awareness has existed forever for eternity and then what it has done to fool itself is it starting to imagine time space birth death mom dad friend teacher colleague business money sex i want this i want that i'm gonna have this in the future i'm gonna have that in the future this happened to me back then i went to school back then and you're imagining in all directions the same with science you're saying all science there's human history there's charles darwin there's rene descartes there's leibniz there's newton there's gravity there's atoms and molecules and all these things there's microscopes you can prove all this if leo is all provable yeah you're imagining this all around the present moment see you say no leo but i read it i read a i read a science book about the nature of the universe from stephen hawking no you didn't you just imagined it no leo i really did i really really did i can remember it yeah you just imagined that but no leo i went to school and my teachers taught me a bunch of science yeah you just imagined that you never went to school you were never even born no leo you're crazy that's impossible yeah you just imagine that it's crazy and impossible no but leo but but leo what about you aren't you real i mean after all leo why would you be teaching me this if you weren't real you must at least you must be real you're my guru you're gonna help me understand these things no you just imagined that but leo surely leo i'm experiencing this here and you're experiencing your own bubble of consciousness right surely otherwise why would you be teaching me why would you be talking to this camera you don't get it you don't get it it's just you i'm you i'm you talking to you i will keep talking to you until you realize that you're me and that i'm you i don't have my own consciousness i'm you i'm a fragment of your consciousness you imagine that i have my own consciousness for the purpose of fooling yourself into thinking that you're not alone that you're not god no leo that's ridiculous i'm not doing that leo that's solipsism that's what you're imagining leo no i'm not there you go again you see since you're god you have an infinite capacity to deny what you're doing and in fact that's your prerogative and imperative because that's how you've constructed your reality you can't have a reality unless you're denying these things when are you gonna recognize that when is this gonna click in your mind everything you're doing is constructing what you would call your life from the physical level upwards you don't really want to realize what i'm telling you is what i'm telling you because it's going to be hard to accept you're going to have to face nihilism you're gonna have to face loss you're gonna have to face surrendering attachments you're gonna have to face the fact that you've been fooling yourself you're gonna have to face that i don't exist you're gonna have to face it you're all alone you're gonna have to face that you're constructing everything you have to face that science is an illusion you have to face that all of your religious gurus and spiritual teachers are illusions you're going to have to face that you are constructing everything anything you think you're not constructing whatever that is bring it to mind right now notice that you're constructing it everything as god you have absolute consciousness what you are experiencing and seeing right now is the entire universe it's all that exists there's nothing more whether you think i'm real or not is up to you if you imagine that i'm real then i am because you imagine it if you imagine that i'm not that i'm not because that's what you're imagining there's nothing wrong with imagining stuff either you can interact with me as though i'm imaginary that's how you have been interacting with me for what you call your whole life now you say leo if this was true then you wouldn't be sitting here talking to me because who are you talking to i'm talking to myself i'm talking to you but you are me and i am you i understand that but you don't understand that yet but leo if you're doing it for me that means that must me that must mean that you have your own you know world going on and i must have my own world going on otherwise you wouldn't be doing this well how would you do this why would you invest so much time creating these videos for nobody that's insane but think of it this way what else am i supposed to do i've got infinite power infinite time you have a better thing to do what what what's more worthwhile to do i'm bored i gotta entertain myself i've existed for eternity what do you want me to do you want me like a dance little dance a little jig for you sing a song for you like what do you want you want me to shower you with money and sex like what what do you expect me to do do you think i should be out there chasing money and sex myself and a bunch of other stupid [ __ ] why i would only be chasing those things if i was [ __ ] delusional there's nothing else to do the only thing there is to do in the universe is to well i mean actually there is the only thing there is to do in the universe is to fool yourself into falling asleep and then to help yourself to reawaken that's all there is to do there's nothing else so i mean by all means if you want to go chase sex and money and all these things and i mean i i chased some of that myself both in the past then still to some degree but like um it's just recognized it's just entertainment you're just entertaining yourself in various ways and if you ever become to be uh you ever desire to become like an enlightened teacher or something and you wonder why do it uh the answer is there's no reason there's zero reason to do it because once your god realized that's it it's done there's no more there's nobody else to awaken the idea there are other people who need to be awoken or who need your help this is one of the deepest fantasies that you have which keeps you from realizing yourself as god in fact i think that a lot of spiritual teachers neo-inviting teachers buddhist teachers and so forth meditation teachers you know this whole body saatva vow that these buddhists take to sort of withhold their own awakening until everybody else is awoken or to help reduce the suffering of all the you know creatures on in the universe devote their life to that this is all just a fantasy they're cosplaying they're cosplaying they don't realize that they're god and they don't realize that there's nobody to save nobody to help there's just them they are basically they have some degree of awakening but not a very high degree they're not god realized and um they don't understand how they're constructing reality they couldn't tell you if you asked them they would just uh you know tell you to shut your mind off and uh and and therefore they're still playing games they're playing spiritual games mystical games new agers are part of this group they're all playing mystical games they're not god realized because if you truly were god realized this is one of the most this is one of the most painful and most difficult things i've had to integrate through all of my awakenings you know there's been painful stuff to integrate but one of the most painful ones i'll tell you what what i think it is for most people it'll be other people this solipsism thing that you can't get over this will be one of the most biggest obstacles still phase um and one of the most painful things for me to integrate was the idea that there's nobody for me to help to teach or to awaken this whole thing that i've constructed with actualize.org to help others to awaken really what it was it was it was just a trick that i played on myself to draw myself deeper into the illusion of life it was a way that i was keeping myself asleep [ __ ] twisted as [ __ ] it's it's it's ingeniously [ __ ] self-deceptive i mean it's a it's an illusion of absolute genius it's an infinite illusion everything you think is there to help you awaken is actually a trick to help you to fall asleep this is why so few people awaken and really even fewer reach god realization it's just so ridiculously self-deceptive even when you think you found the best guru in the world to guide you and even when you think you've read all the best books in the world and even when you think you've done your meditation and even when you think you've attained cessation and nirvana you're still fooling yourself you're not god realized and you might say oh leo but this is just this is pure egotism now pure egotism you're trying to place yourself on a pedestal above all the other gurus and this and that i could be doing that that's not what i'm doing the reason i'm making these distinctions and talking about these things is because originally when i came into this work i bought into certain illusions that most spiritual people buy into when they start to awaken i bought into certain illusions such as that all pads lead to the same destination all the spiritual teachers are talking about the same thing nobody's better than anybody else if you call yourself enlightened that means you're a narcissist and an ego um nothing this is the ultimate goal buddhism is the highest spiritual tradition it's the purest it's the least corrupt the the ultimate attainment is no mind shut off the mind i've succumbed to all those self-deceptions and then the more awakenings i had the more i started to realize how wrong all that was and just how much i underappreciated the trickiness and the level of the depth of self-deception that's going on and of course it had to be that way in order to maintain my sense of reality you see because if the if the self-deception was easy to unravel then everybody would have their realities unravel and by everybody i mean you because there's nobody but you so see by definition for you to be a human you have to be completely self-deceived otherwise you literally could not be a human and that explains why all the humans in the world practically are just batshit self-deceived also the self-deception being so strong and so deep is actually what makes it so beautiful and so enjoyable to crack again it's just like playing with a video game see if the deception was weak if there was only a few layers to the deception if all you had to do to break the deception of of reality was to meditate like a buddhist and to follow the buddhist dogma or to do some neo-advaita self-inquiry go to a few workshops and then you're done if that's all you had to do it would be lame it wouldn't be interesting what makes it interesting is that there's a layer upon layer upon layer of deception such that even when you think you've finally broken out of all the deception and finally you're on the right path that itself is now the deception and only when you crack all of that do you really experience the full satisfaction of understanding what you are as god that's what makes it so satisfying is it's like playing dark souls and defeating the most difficult boss by avoiding every single obstacle every single move he makes every like the more harder he is and you just dodge and dodge and dodge and dodge and hit and and you're just you're perfect with your timing and your dodgers and your jumping jumps and your swings and you just get everything perfect and then you defeat that boss and it's just like you're in heaven you're in heaven because you've mastered the game and that's what it takes to reach god realization that you have to you have to completely understand how the illusion is constructed from scratch nothing can fool you anymore and as long as something can fool you then you're going to be shy of that god realization now you say but leo isn't love also just an illusion no love is what remains after you realize that everything is an illusion love is infinitely meta and love is not a form if you think love is a form or a feeling or a sensation you have not reached the realization of metaphysical infinite love or god for that matter because god is love deeper you go into yourself and into god you will discover just deeper love and so anyways to me this is the difference between moving upwards in your spiritual journey versus moving downwards now when you're moving upwards you have to be careful because there's going to be offshoots right i talked about the straight up direction there's tangents and offshoots and branches as you're moving upwards these can go into the occult these can go into the mystical realms these can go into sort of the ayahuasca territory these can go into the spirits realms they can go into astral projection and this source of weird stuff it can go into lucid dreaming it can go and veer off into magical chasing after magical powers it can veer off into some sort of vision of jesus who then you take on as your lord and savior or it can veer off into the direction of dmt entities where you smoke a bunch of dmt experience some alien whatever and then you start to pray to this alien worship this alien this alien starts to channel material to you and insights and all those things are valid in their own limited way but they are not god realization because all those things introduce subtle elements of otherness that dmt alien you still think he's other than you and you still kind of hold him as being this being who's above you and you are like a human below him and you have this kind of relationship or mother ayahuasca you think she's above you she's more intelligent than you she's she's giving you wisdom you don't deserve the wisdom you're grateful like this whole dynamic this is a dualistic dynamic so what i'm talking about with god realization is i'm actually not talking about non-duality anymore i'm talking about going deeper than nonduality now a lot of people will disagree with me about this and say that's not possible that's delusional leo you're narcissistic and all this sort of stuff you're free to think that but also recognize that maybe you're deceiving yourself after all how can you know that what i'm saying is false unless you've tried to seriously verify it for yourself and that's what i'm suggesting i'm not suggesting you believe me i'm suggesting you just have an open mind and experiment and question question all the dogmas of advaita of vedanta of neo and vida of eccartole of rupert spira all this stuff quite a question at all try out both directions try hitting cessation try realizing no self try realizing nothingness and then i mean you'll still have plenty of time left you can also move upwards and try this other thing that i'm talking about god realization uh again people misunderstand me here and then that they think that i'm trying to somehow narcissistically egotistically put myself above other teachers that's not what i care about what i care about and the reason i'm talking about this stuff in such detail is because i feel like i've reached very high levels of god realization that i don't feel are sufficiently or properly discussed and students are not properly guided to this and what i know what i've concluded for myself after a lot of deep contemplation and and careful analysis is that unless i communicate what i just communicated virtually nobody will reach god realization it just won't happen you can say oh leo but but meditation i can do it through meditation and this that why are you being why are you being you know such a dick why are you being so negative about meditation and self-inquiry and all these things aren't you just like limiting us uh well what i've realized through a lot of experimentation and a lot of experience talking to spiritual people you see this is not something i'm just doing by myself it's also like i've been part of spiritual communities i've listened to dozens maybe a hundred different teachers masters i've gone to their retreats and workshops i've meditated with them i've talked to their students i've carefully analyzed their students comprehension of what they know and what they're conscious of i've come in contact with buddhists and neo-advice and new age people and christians and the net result of all of that experience tells me that if you're following a standard buddhist path or a neo-dividend path you are not going to become god realized if you follow the meditative path or the self-inquiry path you will not become god-realized you can achieve some great insight and you can you can even collapse the ego but what i'm talking about with god realization is not merely a collapsing of the ego is something much more profound than that and if you tell yourself that that's [ __ ] and doesn't exist and that you're maximally awake okay if you say so i won't argue with you but now my work gets a little bit more radical and now i'm more focused on those of you who really want to reach god realization and my passion and going forward my teachings are going to be geared towards those people if you want your standard buddhist path go go there's there's a hundred buddhists on youtube follow the standard buddhist but go meditate if you want to do neo advaita go go um do self inquiry i got no problem with these things and it could be helpful um to get you to a certain point but realize that what got you here doesn't necessarily get you to the highest level question this idea that all pads lead to the same places maybe they don't maybe some pads leave the lead higher up the mountain than others maybe there's more than one mountain maybe it's more like a mountain range than a single mountain maybe consciousness is much more complex than you ever realized maybe spirituality and mysticism is is much more than what you read in the books and seen in a few videos after all how would you know if you were truly humble you would be open to what i'm telling you a few of you will be open to it and a very few of you will eventually realize what i've been pointing to god realization a few of you will realize truly what god is what is god what is god what is god that's the question that should be searing in your mind if you really want to go all the way what is god do not stop until you have a complete understanding of what is god and god is not simply emptiness although of course it is but it's more than that now does this mean you can't get realized in any other method but through psychedelics no you have to be careful here because look when i teach i don't teach to the one percent of exceptionally spiritually gifted people i'm teaching to to the other 99 so when you start criticizing me those of you who are very spiritually advanced and you say oh yeah leo oh yeah i reached god realization all i did was i meditated for a week look if you did fine i'm happy for you but just because you did that you're like one in the [ __ ] 20 million i'm not gonna be gearing my teachings towards that if i'm talking about traveling from los angeles to new york as a responsible travel guide just because you are this hardcore hiker who has hiked on foot from los angeles to new york and you did it and it took you a month to do and it cost you a bunch of money and time and effort just because you did it doesn't mean that that's what that's what i'm going to teach what i'm going to teach is get on a plane that's the proper way to get from la to new york it is not to walk 3 000 miles across dangerous terrain making things needlessly difficult on yourself so when you say that i'm the arrogant and egotistical one for trying to make this path efficient for people because you prefer to walk from la to new york actually consider the possibility that it's you who's the arrogant and the egotistical one because really if there's an efficient simple direct method to go from la to new york in a few hours why the [ __ ] would i not teach that why would i teach the walking method and why would you insist on the walking method unless that was something done out of ego there can be multiple methods but not all all methods are equally effective equally efficient see so from my experience what i found is that psychedelics are the most effective method for reaching god realization and if that wasn't true i wouldn't teach it and if i didn't teach it i wouldn't be authentic to my own experiences and discoveries so if you disagree with me on that fine but i still have to stick to what is true for me in my experience does this mean it works for everybody no i don't think it works for everybody it works for me and i know it works for a lot of other people i know that meditation certainly doesn't work for everybody nothing works for everybody so by all means find your way if my way you try it it doesn't work for you then stop doing it now you might be wondering well leo so this was uh you're talking about five emo dmt is that what you're talking about that led to this awakening and the answer is no was it dmt no what was it it was something you've never heard of it was something virtually nobody has ever heard of it was a chemical and i want to share this chemical because nobody i know of has ever talked about this chemical and its power so basically i've discovered a chemical that's now i'm very clear is more powerful at least for me than five in the odmt now that doesn't mean it's going to be more powerful for you you see we're on the cutting edge of human understanding here and human science and technology you know new chemicals are being discovered every year and with unknown properties and unknown effects it's a wild west really and this will keep happening probably for the next hundred years at least and maybe beyond that so i do research on things i discover new things that's what my function is but of course the danger with new things is that you don't know how other people react to it so again i'm only talking about the effect this chemical has on me i can't promise that it's going to be more powerful than five meow dmd for you i can't promise it's gonna be more powerful than normal dmt for you it may not be for some of you it may not work at all for others of you it may cause nausea and nothing but vomiting i don't i don't know i have no idea i'm just one guy experimenting with stuff making my own discoveries and there's no there's no scientific backing for these things we're way beyond the edge of consensus science here this is this is the science that will be done 100 years from now when your grandkids are doing science so it's just the nature of cutting edge research and work that it's mysterious it's unknown it's confusing it's baffling it may be risky you don't that's the nature of exploration of nature how many explorers have died exploring the new world before we settled it and made it safe for everybody thousands maybe millions i don't know now i'm not saying that this chemical is dangerous per se in some sort of you know physically harmful way um but then again you know i don't know there's not there's not a lot of research on this stuff but anyways i want to share the i want to share the name of the chemical and to make it popular or at least well-known um but i'm not going to do it in this episode and i know you guys want me to and um i know you're impatient uh but i want to do it in a responsible way and i want to do it to at a pace that i'm comfortable at so in the end i'm going by what what i'm comfortable with so don't pester me i don't know when i'm going to release the name i want to uh soon but i don't know when uh if you stick around then you'll hear me talk about it and release it and until then i won't say anything about more about it so don't don't guess don't ask me questions i'm not going to respond to your guesses and to your questions and again remember i give no warranties whatsoever if you decide to use this chemical or any psychedelics for that matter it's all on you i promise nothing you could kill yourself and i will not feel guilty for it because i told you repeatedly many times that these are their inherent risks that come with these substances and you must use them very carefully and responsibly and i don't know what your situation is i don't know what your genetics is i don't know what your health is i don't know your mental health situation or mental illness or not i don't know any of these things so it's all on you as far as that goes and of course you have to follow all the safety protocols that i've talked about in the past when it comes to psychedelic use and um and i can't promise you that it'll be any better than mushrooms or lsd for you i don't know it may not be because people are different people react to psychedelics very differently um i can just tell you how it was for me and uh i suspect that it'll it'll be that way for a fair number of people so i think it's it's a good uh there's a good chance that it'll work for you but i can't promise that and it's up to you to figure that out and that's how research goes right if you want the safe well-known methods then by all means go go go use those methods but then you're not going to be getting the cutting edge methods so decide what you want the more cutting edge it is the more unknown it is the more variable variability there is there the less it's been mapped out the more confusing it'll be the more risky it'll be because it takes time to take a thing and to make it safe for idiots this is not foolproof my teachings are not designed to be foolproof they require a lot of intelligence and care in how you apply these things and what you understand even the way you interpret what i say and construe or misconstrue what i say the projections you make upon the things the assumptions you have about what i say all of these things can be dangerous if you don't do them carefully and properly so that is that and then hopefully what this enables ultimately my my intention and what i really want here with this is that i want to help to to guide you towards the ultimate realization i want to help you to reach a point where you will realize that you're me and why you created me to help yourself to awaken and even more than that i want you to then realize my love for you see i don't want to express my love to you through words or even through my videos or through my interactions with you on the forum or in the comment section or by being a nice person or a good samaritan or by helping you to earn money or have sex or even to realize no self i want to give you the highest love and the highest love is not those things the highest love i want to give you is i want you to realize that you're god and that god is love and that you created me and that my love for you is your love for yourself and so when you finally reach this point of this ultimate realization of love that's when you and i will connect and when you will realize my love for you and i will realize your love for me and then together we will realize that we're identical and we will merge into this infinite singularity of love together as one forever that's to me the pinnacle of this work and if you're intelligent about how you go about this and you're very careful with these teachings perhaps one day you'll understand what i talked about today you